I’m going to be up front with you right from the beginning  -- this email contains no references to love, castration, or pornography.  If those are the topics that have kept you reading in the past, I apologize.  I like those topics, too. If you choose to continue reading, please be warned that this is about an upside down building. For those of you who came looking for one of the aforementioned topics --love, castration, or pornography – I wish you luck in your search.

An upside down building is a hard thing to get your head around. I lived in Virginia when Hurricane Isabel made her way across the mid-Atlantic states in 2003.  Some areas were really hammered.   Where I lived got off pretty easy, though I did spend the night wondering if the roof was going to be torn from the barn.   In the morning when I went outside, the barn and its roof were still intact.  In fact, it was a really nice, cool, peaceful fall morning.  As if there had never been a storm. 

I was training horses at the time and when I got on my first horse of the day and went for a walk down the road, there was no evidence of the hurricane to be seen.  No trees down.  No washed out sections of the road.  No power lines on the ground snapping sparks into the air. Having expected so much from such a powerful storm, it was a bit of a disappointment really. Until I went around the corner and saw the neighbor’s run-in shed upside down. In a different field than where it had been the day before. The horses themselves were still on the inside of the pasture fence.  It was just their building that was outside the pasture fence.  And upside down.  The horses who lived in the run-in shed were standing where it had been, as they always did.  But there was no building around them.  Just marks on the ground where the building once stood.  The horses mingled where their run-in shed used to be, apparently optimistic about its return.  Maybe discussing the events of the night before.

I had never seen an upside down building before.  The sensation was of a conflict between my senses – my brain was sure my eyes were lying.  Called on to referee the dispute between my brain and eyes, I just sat on my horse and stared.  Then walked on a bit and stared from another angle. Then walked on and stared some more.  I didn’t know what to make of it anymore than my brain or eyes did.

Which is of course, as you probably guessed, what a building flipped by a hurricane and a fresh, uncured ham roast have in common.  We simply aren’t sure what to make of a fresh, uncured ham roast in this day and age anymore than I knew what to make of that upside down run-in shed. Not that run-in sheds used to be upside down all the time, but fresh, uncured hams were once a ubiquitous part of the American foodscape. Walk through the supermarket today and if a ham’s not honey baked or apple-wood smoked it might as well be an upside down building.  Which is to say strange.  And intimidating.  And hard to make sense of.  Where do you put the chairs in an upside down building?  The tv?  How do the toilets work? 

But a slice of uncured ham need not be strange or unsettling.  In fact, you can almost be friends with an uncured ham.  Of course, you don’t want to be too good a friend, because the best use of an uncured ham is to eat it, not to borrow it’s car when yours is in the shop or to share a house at the beach for a weekend in the summer.  As we all know hams don’t have cars and they don’t summer at the beach. But they are excellent when roasted.  Don’t think of them as a friend, but more as an acquaintance who tastes like a really big, juicy pork chop.  Big almost like a beef roast.  Juicy like only an all-natural, pastured raised hog can be. 

A fresh, uncured ham is easy to prepare and requires minimal time in the oven.  Allowed to rest a few minutes after coming out of the oven and then served in thick slices, some people might even find they prefer a good ham slice to love, castration or pornography.  We think if you try one of ours, which are a really great value at just $5 a pound, you might, too.  We’ve even included a recipe below.  We’ll have uncured ham roast slices with us on Saturday, but to make sure you get yours please consider ordering by return email.  They range from about 2 to 5 lbs and are sure to please.

 See you Saturday,
Craig

How to Cook a Fresh Ham Slice Roast

• Starting with a thawed ham, rub some soy sauce all over it.  Don't be shy.
  
  
•  Then rub some salt and pepper on both sides, preferably but not necessarily a coarse ground kosher salt and fresh ground pepper. Don't be shy with this part, either.  Then smash a few cloves of garlic and rub them on the ham.  If you have some fresh sage, press a few leaves onto the ham.  If you don't have fresh sage, shake some dried sage on.  If you don't have any sage, don't worry about it.
  
  
•  Give the ham an hour or so to just hang out on the kitchen counter.  You'd love for it to be approaching room temperature when you put it in the oven.
  
  
•  At some point preheat the oven to 325F.
  
  
•  Your ham is going to take between 15 and 20 minutes a pound to reach the desired internal temperature, which is between 140F and 150F.  If you don't have a meat thermometer, now would be a good time to get one.  Look for the type that has a display unit to sit on the counter and a probe to put in the meat.  If you've read that ham and pork should be cooked to an internal temperature of 160F or 165F, forget that.  If you've read that ham and pork shouldn't be a bit pink on the inside when done cooking, forget that, too.  
  
  
•  When you ham has reached the desired temperature, take it out of the oven and give it about 10 minutes to rest.  Being cooked is hard work.  
  
  
•  Slice thick and serve.